You Just Don't Get It..

  There is nothing more frustrating to me than people who don't understand or just flat out don't care to understand something. I remember as I was growing up I was told my debilitating cramps, nausea, leg pain, and back pain were all just a normal part of my cycle.. just to get over it. So I did, I learned to live with it.. no big deal.. every month I would just lay in a fetal position close to the bathroom just in case my nausea turned into full blown throwing up. I honestly thought these were just normal symptoms every woman had every month until she reached menopause. I remember a dr in particular that I went to and was told that perhaps I just have a low pain tolerance and my low pain tolerance was leading to my nausea/GI side effects every month. Uhm no.. if I can labor without any pain meds for 12 hours, I don't think my pain tolerance is that low that I can't handle regular menstrual cramps.. just a  thought. Every month when I didn't want to go out with friends or really do much of anything except lay on the couch with my heating pad and tylenol my self esteem would suffer.. I would always think in the back of my mind that my friends must really think I am the biggest baby.. after all they all have cycles each month and don't just lay around the whole time with the heating pad by their side. I often thought my husband would think I was just making this all up.. I remember my husband telling me one time.. "I have been around many women in my life.. none acted like you do when this time comes" It all really bothered me and I would try my best to act 'normal' and like there was nothing wrong. I remember I had a job interview one morning.. unfortunately I had started my cycle just hours before the job interview. I was in extreme pain and severely nauseous.. it was all I could do to get in my car and drive to the interview, then I had to sit in a chair and wait for what seemed like forever until I was finally called back. I couldn't sit still for anything in that chair.. I remember the secretary asked me at least three times if I was okay.. I nodded my head yes and put a smile on my face and said I was great, just a little nervous.. but really inside I was screaming and crying wanting to be in a hot bath or laying on my couch with my heating pad

  So when I was given the diagnosis, it was almost like I was being freed of some of this. I finally had a really good reason for the way I was feeling. I wasn't just feeling regular cramps and symptoms, I have endo implants that bleed each month on different organs that cause severe pain and inflammation.. they bleed each month just like the normal tissue does in the uterus. I think if any one had ectopic uterine tissue on organs that bleed and then adhere to one another, they would be complaining too. So it turns out I am not the biggest baby that ever lived, I am not crazy, and there are other women out there that I  can relate to, I call these my endo 'cysters'. They help keep me sane and give me hope about the future and treatment options available. I know this isn't the worse thing that could possibly ever happen to me and I am blessed for the areas I am healthy in, but I don't see anything wrong with venting once in a while and talking to others that have this disease. It's a disease that is either unknown or poorly understood.. and of course, there are those ignorant people who just choose to believe that endo isn't really a disease, its just bad menstrual cramps once in a while that certain women can't handle. While right now there is no cure for it.. not even a hysterectomy.. I think the more it is openly talked about and the more people are educated on it.. the better off everyone will be; the endo sufferers themselves as well as the friends/family of those that have the disease.